Heart Condition

So, before my mind gets filled to the point of exploding again tomorrow, I need to at least put down a couple of things I learned from class last week. I'm tired and it's after 1am but I still need to do this.

Jody was saying that we CANNOT hear God unless we have the right heart condition. And here's the thing - if we recognize something is wrong with our heart, WE CANNOT CHANGE IT. I don't think I totally grasped the reality of that. I always talk to God and ask Him to help me do better or soften my heart - which asking to have my heart softened is on the right track, but it is still not the total answer. I must CONFESS that I have a problem. My heart is sick. I need my Savior to come in and clean out the infection and stitch me up. I cannot remove the problem on my own.

Here's another thing that stuck out to me. If a sick heart is exposed to God's truth but does not respond but instead turns away, it does not go away unaffected. Just being exposed to the truth and not letting it grip me, will cause my heart to actually become MORE hardened. Crazy. That is pretty serious stuff. When I make light of things, roll my eyes, take things that are important to God as a joke my heart is becoming more and more sick. It is tightening up the walls. Closing off the doors, sealing off the entrance. The heart is really the gateway to the soul. It is by our hearts being changed that we are saved. We do need to involve our minds, too but we need to be gripped by our hearts. Our hearts are deep within us. The changes that need to happen in my life need to happen deep within. Inside the core of my being.

There was so much more that was taught - that is just the tip of the surface of what I can just begin to get my mind and my heart around. So I pray God, soften my heart. Open the eyes of my heart. To see with Your eyes and to be able to really hear You. And thank You for loving me where I am at right now.