Thinking about stuff

So, I am reading through the Bible - turns out, very slowly...but I have decided to read it through. I heard someone say that she reads it through twice a year and she has done it for years now and said that every time she reads it, it totally changes her life. God gives her something new each time. I was pretty amazed by that. I am not putting pressure on myself to read it through in six months. I do not pick it up every day - sometimes only once a week. But when I go too long without reading it, I definitely feel that hunger to hear what God's precious Word has to say to me. This week, I read about Joseph - obviously - I'm still in Genesis...lol. Anyway, his story completely got me thinking. He was pretty much an old man that had endured a pretty awful life before he even had a clue as to what God was doing with him. He was betrayed by his brothers, thrown in a pit, sold to the Egyptians. Then, he was doing well and "prospering" as a slave in Egypt but then he was betrayed by Potipher's wife and thrown in prison. He helped a couple people out in prison and all he asked was that they remember him when they talked to Pharoah. Did the guy remember?? Not until TWO years later...wow. That really sucks. But yet he still trusted God - and he trusted God with his gift - interpreting dreams. I think the thing that amazes me most is that when he was pretty much running all of Egypt because he had been obedient to God, he did not hold a grudge against his brothers. He wept for them. He even told them that them throwing him into that pit was NOT their fault. That GOD had had a complete purpose in doing that. Amazing. He did not see the culmination of what God was going to do with his life, until he was old. He didn't get to grow up with his family and only got to see his father a little bit before he died, but he understood that God had a bigger plan and eventually, he got to spend all eternity with them. I look at my life and see how quick I am to blame others or to not exhibit grace or mercy - only giving to someone when they are giving to me. Maybe it took those years and years of Joseph being away from his family to forgive them - maybe he forgave them right away. It doesn't really say. But he got there. He was faithful to God and God was faithful to him. His story spurred me on to keep on, keepin on. To show grace always. That is hard for me. I want to be the judge. Joseph did mess with his brothers a little - I wondered if that was sort of "getting back" at them for all they put him through. But in the end, he blessed them HUGE. They didn't deserve it. Sort of like what God does for me every day. I don't deserve the free gift of salvation. I don't deserve to be able to walk into His presence and have a relationship with him, but he gives me HUGE blessings - probably the majority of which I haven't even discovered yet. Hmm. I can definitely learn from Joseph. Use the gifts God has given me with confidence. Don't hold grudges - this life is to short to stay angry. Believe that God has a purpose for my life, even though I may not see how he's working in my current situation. Stay faithful in ALL my actions. God see's everything - including the darkest areas of my heart where I even try to fool myself sometimes.

That's all for now...still processing.